


Resolutions

by dollydoodledoo



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: IDK whats happening here, Kinda, M/M, Post-Chairman Election Arc, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-08 07:55:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17382683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dollydoodledoo/pseuds/dollydoodledoo
Summary: Gon and Killua reunite to start the new year together.





	Resolutions

**Author's Note:**

> this is basically me indulging in my hc that gon starts massively pining for killua after they split up. i wrote this on new years a year ago and i don't remember what i planned to do with it exactly but its january now so its timely

They find each other on New Year’s Eve, in a crowd of faces that are all the same to them, and it’s strangely fitting— to start off the future digging up feelings from years past. People are screaming the countdown _(7! 6! 5!)_. Gon can’t hear anything over his heartbeat pounding in his ears _(4! 3! 2! 1! Happy new year!)_. Fireworks go off, stars explode. It feels like the sky is cracking apart.  


Killua doesn’t move. Maybe he’s looking for the courage to take a step forward. Maybe he’s looking for the courage to turn away.  


Gon crosses the yards between them. Killua’s eyes flicker, like electricity in his hands, like Nen in his veins.  


“Gon.” He says. They are seventeen now, too young to forgive everything, and too old to forget. Killua has completely lost what little childhood was left on his body when they parted. He looks as if he was cut from glass, all jutting angles and sharp edges.  


_He looks beautiful_ , is the thought Gon will not allow himself to think.  


“Happy new year.” He says. He didn’t think it would be like this— unexpected, unwanted. The bitterness is much stronger than the sweetness as couples around them embrace.  


“Thanks. You too.” Killua replies, with an unmistakable sadness in his eyes. Even after all these years, Gon can see that. He wishes he could cup his chin and kiss the sadness away.  


But he doesn’t. Some wishes aren’t meant to come true. That’s a lesson he learned a long time ago (but perhaps too late).  


As they turn to watch the last vestiges of the fireworks, their shoulders brush. Killua flinches away like he’s been burned. Maybe he has been. Gon feels like he’s burning. He feels like a wildfire.  


_(He’s felt like that for years. An uncontrollable wildfire, burning everything in its past. All- consuming, all-destroying. Volatile, like him.)_  


In another time, another life, Gon could have reached out and touched Killua. He could have told him _no, I’m not burning, I’m your best friend, I’m safe._ In another time, another life, it may have even been true.  


His hands stay by his sides and his mouth stays closed.  


“What are you doing, Gon?” Killua asks, with a bravery that makes Gon’s heart swell.  


“Watching the—“ He stops. There are no fireworks in the sky. The last one probably faded several minutes ago. The moon hangs overhead, not a perfect circle, nor a perfect crescent. Incomplete, but getting there.  


“Do you still like sweets, Killua?” He says, with a gentleness he’d forgotten he had. Gentle, kind, soft, tender. He doesn’t know if he has the right to be any of those things. After all, he cast all of that away, he was willing to give everything up, he should have to live with his choices, it’s what he _deserves_.  


But it’s not what he wants. He wants to try again, if not for himself, then for the boy standing next to him.  


“Wha—“ Killua turns to look at him and Gon, unwavering, looks right back. A beat passes. He sees the sadness disappear from Killua’s eyes, replaced with a warm fondness that makes Gon’s stomach flip.  


_(Some wishes aren’t meant to come true._  
But sometimes they do, anyway.)  


“Yeah, I do.”


End file.
